Book Recommendations
Books that inform my work & that I often recommend to clients & friends
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
"In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life."
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives — a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys — she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell.
With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them."
Daring to Take up Space
This is for anyone who needs a reminder that you deserve to take up space in the world and that you are enough. In her first poetry collection, Daniell gives voice to the fear and anxiety, as well as the perseverance and strength, that has been fundamental to her own personal growth journey and the path to deeper and more meaningful self-love and acceptance. In her own words, this book is for “the 17-year-old Daniell who was convinced she was worthless; who was convinced she would never survive or amount to anything. This is for the friends and family who never stopped believing in and supporting her. This is for all the people who feel that they have to shrink and hide who they are in order to be loved and accepted and worth something."
The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power
We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.
Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author’s private practice, and who changed her life. It’s a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you’ll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.
Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD
Living with adult ADHD can feel like you're in a constant battle with your brain. Every day, you have to fight to stay in control, to meet your obligations, to not screw up—forget actually living up to your potential. But what you might not know about, and what’s even more damaging, is the constant, corrosive emotional stress of a lifetime spent wondering what the hell is wrong with you.
In Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD, author and self—proclaimed “ADHD-er” James M. Ochoa, LPC goes beyond the management and scheduling techniques most ADHD books focus on to deal with what really holds so many ADHD-ers back—the emotional fallout of ADHD. He helps readers identify, manage and alleviate symptoms of a PTSD-like condition he calls the Emotional Distress Syndrome.
With wisdom, humor, and plenty of (sometimes painful) empathy, Focused Forward will help adults with ADHD move past the pain and shame toward a future full of possibility, balance and joy.
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing
If you’re struggling to stay on top of your to-do list, you probably have a good reason: anxiety, fatigue, depression, ADHD, or lack of support. For therapist KC Davis, the birth of her second child triggered a stress-mess cycle. The more behind she felt, the less motivated she was to start. She didn’t fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. One life-changing realization restored her sanity—and the functionality of her home: You don’t work for your home; your home works for you.
In other words, messiness is not a moral failing. A new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame-based messaging that interpreted a pile of dirty laundry as “I can never keep up” and a chaotic kitchen as “I’m a bad mother.” Instead, she looked at unwashed clothes and thought, “I am alive,” and at stacks of dishes and thought, “I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row.”
Building on this foundation of self-compassion, KC devised the powerful practical approach that has exploded in popularity through her TikTok account, @domesticblisters. The secret is to simplify your to-do list and to find creative workarounds that accommodate your limited time and energy.
Why Zebras Don't get Ulcers
Now in a third edition, Robert M. Sapolsky's acclaimed and successful Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers features new chapters on how stress affects sleep and addiction, as well as new insights into anxiety and personality disorder and the impact of spirituality on managing stress.
As Sapolsky explains, most of us do not lie awake at night worrying about whether we have leprosy or malaria. Instead, the diseases we fear-and the ones that plague us now-are illnesses brought on by the slow accumulation of damage, such as heart disease and cancer. When we worry or experience stress, our body turns on the same physiological responses that an animal's does, but we do not resolve conflict in the same way-through fighting or fleeing. Over time, this activation of a stress response makes us literally sick.
Combining cutting-edge research with a healthy dose of good humor and practical advice, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers explains how prolonged stress causes or intensifies a range of physical and mental afflictions, including depression, ulcers, colitis, heart disease, and more. It also provides essential guidance to controlling our stress responses. This new edition promises to be the most comprehensive and engaging one yet.
Man's Search for Meaning
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl's memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Between 1942 and 1945 Frankl labored in four different camps, including Auschwitz, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife perished. Based on his own experience and the experiences of others he treated later in his practice, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl's theory-known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos ("meaning")-holds that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.
Living and Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment
In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful CompassionPower program. He founded the CompassionPower agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values. In this book, you’ll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach.
Progressing Through Grief: Guided Exercises to Understand Your Emotions and Recover from Loss
Grieving is a highly personal experience and reactions differ from person to person. Feelings of loss are arguably the most unique, confusing feelings with which to cope.
Therapist and grief expert, Stephanie Jose, understands this. She wrote Progressing Through Grief as an interactive resource to gently meet you wherever you are today, as you move through your grief and towards healing. Stephanie has spent countless hours working with grieving clients, and she saw the need for a resource that would address the various feelings of grief that occur at any stage of the process.
Twenty years ago, Stephanie Jose became well acquainted with grief when she suddenly lost her best friend. She has experienced first-hand many of the same feelings as her patients. Progressing Through Grief provides practical methods for coping with immediate feelings of loss, as well as the difficult emotions that can persist over time.
ADHD for Smart Ass Women: How to Fall in Love with Your Neurodivergent Brain
ADHD is one of the most common neurological disorders in the United States—yet a staggering 75 percent of girls and women remain undiagnosed. Due to the gender gap in medical research, which does not account for symptoms manifesting differently in women—leading to increased problems with anxiety, depression, working memory, sleep, energy, and concentration—many ADHD women are left to navigate a society that fails to understand their struggles and gifts. But what if every woman had the resources and support to uncover the hidden wonders of her neurodivergent brain?
Enter certified ADHD coach and podcast host Tracy Otsuka. Armed with her experience coaching thousands of women, cutting-edge medical research, and personal insights from her own diagnosis, she presents a revelatory guide tailored specifically for girls and women with ADHD. In it, Otsuka offers an entirely new set of tools, systems, and strategies to access a world of boundless productivity, focus, and confidence.
With her signature wit and levity—in entertaining chapters designed for ADHD readers—Otsuka explores the unique challenges that ADHD women face and illuminates the extraordinary qualities that set them apart: overflowing creativity, laser-focused attention, deep empathy, and fearless entrepreneurial spirit. Even without an official diagnosis, readers will be equipped with the tools to conquer any to-do list and to tap into their true purpose, personally or professionally.
By dismantling the long-standing stereotypes and misinformation surrounding women with ADHD, Otsuka offers a beacon of hope for any woman looking to transform her symptoms into strengths. Comprehensive, lively, and long overdue, ADHD for Smart Ass Women is the key to unlocking unparalleled potential and to understanding your truly magnificent and brilliant brain.
